With Uplifted Hands

Many of my friends and family have such strong testimonies for the Lord. Through the years I have watched them with such admiration. Over the years I have called or written letters thanking them for the lives they have lived. I wanted them to know what help or inspiration they had been to me.

How I wished my name was listed among these strong Women of Faith, these Warriors, but it is not. I wasted so many years in a broken condition refusing to forgive myself for my failures.

Now through transparency I am allowing others to see me in my brokenness and it feels like standing before them naked with no covering. But I know that transparency is what I have been called to do. I heard a song this morning for the first time called, "With Lifted Hands." With every heartbeat in my chest, Lord I surrender all that I am. Days yet to come, and days in the past, I'm giving you all that I am, with lifted hands.

 So this morning I come to the table with" Lifted Hands," and ashes from my past. I'm asking God to make them into something of Beauty, something that can shine out into the darkness to help bring others to the light!

 If you too want to leave your past behind, the first step in doing so is to surrender your will. This sounds so easy to some, but it is hard to surrender to God's forgiveness when you don't feel worthy of being forgiven. I can't tell you the number of times that I went to the altar and wept bitterly asking God to forgive me, but not allowing him too.

 After many defeated trips to the altar praying the same pray, God whispered in my spirit, "You know that I've already forgiven you. It's time for you to forgive yourself." I couldn't walk in the freedom of God's forgiveness and his love, because I refused to forgive myself. I had continually kept my mind focused on my failures and I wouldn't allow myself to go free. This unforgiveness kept me trapped to my past. A past that God was so willingly ready to release me from.

 Forgiveness was the key. God's forgiveness, forgiving myself, and still yet to come, forgiving those who had hurt me. I couldn't expect God to start putting my life back together when I had unforgiveness for others in my heart. How could I expect the Lord to forgive and bless me when I was not willing to give forgiveness to those who had hurt me. It was certain that no one had hurt me more than I had hurt the Lord. God is Love, and if we are to walk in the light, we have to be a reflection of that Love.

            Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone,

so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Mark 11:25

 I hope that you will begin your own journey to being set free: First, you must receive forgiveness from God, you must then forgive yourself, and then lastly, you must forgive those who have hurt you. When you do, it's time for your "New Life," to begin.

Here's to forgiveness.

Glenda J.